If you only knew
by CrazyLilRedheadGirl
Summary: When an anomaly mission doesn't quite go to plan, feelings and revalations may be revealed. Becker/Jess. Oneshot for now, but might make it into a story later on.


**Hey, it's been nearly a year and a half since I last wrote a Primeval story and after watching Saturday's episode (4x4) I just had to write another one. I've become a lover of the Becker/Jess pairing, which was a huge surprise to me since I loved Sarah/Becker last year and hated Jess in the first episode. But after watching this week's episode this idea just came into my head and wouldn't leave until I had written it. I've changed a few things and added quite a few things, but most of it is still the same as what happened in the episode, you're still going to get topless Becker. Yum! :D**

**It's just a one-shot for now, but if I get enough positive feedback and you guys like it, I may make it into a series. **

**Anyway, enough of my rambling, on with the story. :D**

**Pairing: Becker/Jess**

**Episode: 4x4**

Jess stared at the computer, straining her eyes to try and see what was going on, to try and see if the others were ok. She could make out the odd shape, but nothing distinctive. Not until the camera briefly flickered back into life and she saw two dark shapes leant up against a wall, only moving to shoot, as the therocephalians advanced on them. She watched as they got closer and closer before suddenly the camera failed yet again and Jess's view of the school canteen was plunged into darkness. She cried out in frustration, ignoring the confused looks that she received from a few random ARC workers that were walking past. She quickly regained her composure and pressed a few buttons on the computer. She prayed that it would work, that it would allow her to see what was happening and to her delight it did. The camera came alive again and Jess quickly trained her eyes on the two shapes up against the wall. This time however, they weren't moving. Jess was just about to contact the team when she saw a shape that looked a lot like Connor running to the shapes on the floor. A second later she could see that he was accompanied by the two young boys.

"Connor, what's going on?" Jess asked him.

"Uh, I don't really know Jess," he said as he quickly assessed Matt and Becker, who were lying motionless against the wall. Jess looked deeper into the camera, she could see more now than she had been able to all day, and it was what she saw that worried her.

"Connor, is that Matt and Becker? Are they ok?" She asked worriedly, her voice becoming frantic at the thought of either of them being hurt. She could see Connor reaching out towards one of the men, and putting two fingers against his neck, clearly looking for a pulse.

"Connor, what is happening?" Jess asked, her voice getting higher and higher with every word.

"Um, Matt's ok, just got a few cuts but Becker …" he trailed off. Jess's face paled instantly … Becker was hurt, and by the sounds of it, he was hurt bad. Jess felt tears sting her eyes but she refused to let them fall. He was going to be ok … he had to be. Who else would look after them? Jess was pulled out of her thoughts by Matt's voice shouting in her ear.

"Jess, he's hurt bad. One of the creatures bit him. We need medics here now, the venom's spreading and I don't know how long he's got left," Matt said in his distinctive Irish accent.

"They…they're on their way. H…how bad is it?" she asked nervously. It seemed like ages before Matt replied.

"We've got a pulse, but it's very weak. Just make sure the medics get here as quick as they can. We'll keep you updated Jess," he said before it all went silent. Jess closed her eyes tightly, willing herself not to cry. She took a few deep breaths before setting about doing a couple of things that she didn't have time to finish before the anomaly detection device had interrupted her.

Despite her best efforts however, all she could think about was the way Becker was slumped against the wall, not moving, helpless. That was one word she never thought she would ever use to describe Becker, helpless.

What seemed like hours later, but in reality was only around ten minutes; Jess heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps coming towards her. Regaining her composure and wiping away the few stray tears that had managed to escape her eyes; she wheeled around on her chair seeing Matt and Connor getting closer and closer to her. Both looked tired and down and Connor's eyes were red and puffy, alerting Jess to the fact that he had been crying recently. Instantly fearing the worst, her hands flew to her mouth and her eyes filled up with tears again. This time however, there was no holding them back. She let them fall freely for a few seconds before looking up at Matt and Connor.

"H…he's gone. Isn't he?" she asked timidly. Matt and Connor looked at each other before replying.

"Jess…" Matt started before he was interrupted by the small brunette in front of him.

"I… I knew it. I'm sorry, I should have got the cameras working, I should have made sure that I could see you at all times. Nothing would have happened to him if I had done my job properly and fixed the camera problem," she said, her voice breaking with every word.

"Jess," Matt started again, "let me finish. Becker's not gone. He lost consciousness and stopped breathing on the way back here, but the medics got him breathing again. He's been injected with the anti-venom and his leg's been bandaged up. He's going to be hobbling around for a week or so, but other than that he's fine. You've really got to learn to listen to people and not just assume things," he said, smiling at her. She let Matt's words sink into her head, before smiling back at him. Becker was fine, he wasn't dead. She felt all her worries disappear and be replaced by relief.

"Where is he?" she asked Matt, "I want to go and see him." Matt looked at her curiously for a second before replying.

"Hospital wing…" he answered, but before he could say anything else, Jess had taken off down the corridor, her purple heels clicking along the hard floor. Jess hurried to the hospital wing as quickly as she could; only pausing to remove her heels, which were slowing her down considerably. She soon reached the hospital wing, and after putting her shoes back on and hesitating for a couple of seconds, she slowly opened the door and entered the room. The room was empty, apart from two occupied beds, right down the other end. From where she was stood, Jess could make out two shapes, one in each bed. She quietly walked closer and could see that in one bed was one of the new soldiers whose name she hadn't quite remembered, who had been brought to the hospital wing earlier that day after accidentally shooting himself during target practise. In the other bed however, was the reason for Jess's visit. Becker was lying in the bed, staring up at the ceiling, a bored look on his pale face. He obviously heard Jess walking towards him, because he turned his head sharply to look in her direction. He looked at her with a slightly perplexed look on his face but as she stood next to his bed, playing with her hands nervously, his perplexed look faded away and was replaced by a rare smile.

"Jess, what are you doing here?" he asked. Jess paused for a second before replying.

"I…I just came to see if you were alright. I mean, Matt and Connor told me that you were going to be fine, but I guess I just wanted to make sure for myself," she said, her eyes focused on the grey floor beneath her feet. Becker couldn't help but smile at her obvious nervousness. Tentatively, he reached out and lightly grabbed hold of her wrist, gaining her attention.

"Hey, listen, I'm fine. It's just a cut on my leg. I'll be up and about annoying you again in no time," he said, causing her to giggle slightly. Becker looked down at Jess's wrist, which was still enclosed in his large hand before pulling her down to sit on the edge of his bed, away from his injured leg.

"I'm sorry about the girl," he said apologetically, "you shouldn't have had to witness that." Jess moved her gaze down to the floor, what she had seen today was going to stay with her for a long time. Becker noticed how she refused to look at him, and bringing matters into his own hands he gently lifted her chin up with his fingers, forcing her to look at him.

"I know what you're thinking," he said, "You're thinking that it's your fault that she died because you couldn't open the doors. Believe me, it's not your fault. You were brilliant today. You saved those two boys by getting the doors open when you did." Jess looked at him briefly, before dropping her gaze again.

"I know, but I should have done better. I should have got the cameras working. If I had then you wouldn't be in here," she said quietly. Becker sighed loudly before replying.

"Jess, I'm only going to say this one more time. It wasn't your fault," he said, removing his fingers from her chin and instead wrapping an arm around her shoulders, comforting her. He shifted over a little bit, being careful not to move his leg too much before patting the empty space on the bed next to him. Jess hesitated for a second before removing her shoes yet again and lying in the bed next to him. All was silent for a few minutes until Jess spoke.

"I was so scared, one minute I could see you, the next minute the camera wouldn't work, then it came back and you were on the floor just … just lying there. I could see Connor and Matt with you, but you were just so still. Then Matt was telling me what happened, telling me that you got bitten and injected with the venom. And then when they got back here, Connor had been crying and they both looked tired and down and I … I thought we'd lost you." She said, tears flowing down her pale cheeks once more. Becker looked down at her before wiping away her tears with the pads of his fingers.

"I thought I was a goner as well," he admitted quietly, "I've never felt so much pain in my life. I'm lucky that Matt got there when he did and packed the salt into the wound. Seriously though Jess, if you hadn't opened those doors when you did and saved Connor and those boys, then me and Matt wouldn't have been coming back. They were the ones that got rid of the creatures. There was so many of them, we shot as many as we could, but they kept on coming. But, we all made it out, mostly unharmed, so that's the main thing," he said. Jess remained silent after hearing Becker's description of what had happened. Then, without thinking about any possible consequences, she turned on the bed and draped an arm over Becker's stomach and laid her head on his shoulder, her tears making the black material of his t-shirt damp. Becker froze for a second. He was certainly not expecting Jess to do that. Feeling him tense up next to her, she quickly drew her arm back and got up from the bed. As she bent down to put her shoes back on she glanced up at Becker, who was looking at her with a confused look on his face.

"I'm sorry. I … I've got to go back to work. The others will be wondering where I am," she said quickly, avoiding eye contact with the injured captain. "I'll see you later," she said as she took off back towards the door. As soon as she disappeared from sight, Becker let out a deep sigh. The silence in the room was then interrupted by the other soldier.

"She likes you Captain," the young soldier said, "Better act fast though, I know a few of the other recruits have got their eyes on her." Becker glanced at his colleague.

"I suggest you keep your mouth shut, Brooks. Unless you want me to 'accidently' shoot you and tell everyone that you shot yourself again." Becker replied. At this, the other soldier quickly sent Becker an apologetic look.

Meanwhile, back at her work station, Jess was mentally kicking herself about what had happened in the hospital wing. How could she have been so stupid? Jess was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn't hear Abby and Connor walk up behind her. They called her name a couple of times before Connor tapped her lightly on the shoulder, causing her to spin around on her chair to face them.

"Oh, hey guys. Sorry, I was just off in my own world for a minute there," she apologised to her temporary flatmates.

"It's alright," Connor said cheerfully, "we just wondered if you wanted to order pizza tonight, neither of us are in the mood for cooking," he explained. Jess nodded her head enthusiastically.

"Yeah, that's fine with me. Was there anything else you needed?"

"Oh, that's everything," Abby said, "We'll leave you alone with your thoughts of Becker," she said quietly so only Connor and Jess could hear her. Both Abby and Connor watched as Jess's cheeks flushed a bright red colour.

"I wasn't thinking about him," she said quickly.

"Sure you weren't," Connor said, a huge smile plastered on his face. Jess quickly dismissed Abby and Connor before logging out of her computer and shutting it down for the day. As she walked towards the locker room, Connor's last words to her kept repeating themselves over and over in her head. Was it really that obvious what she was thinking about? She was pulled out of her thoughts as she entered the locker room and walked around the corner to her locker. There, leaning against his own locker was a shirtless Becker. Even though he had his back to her, she could see his muscles twitching as he struggled to get into his shirt. Rushing over to him, Jess quickly helped him into his shirt and sat him down on one of the benches in the room. She grabbed his bag from his locker before closing the locker door and handing him his bag.

"Thanks," he said to her as she gave him his bag.

"No problem," she replied. She paused for a second before speaking again. "Listen, about earlier, I … I don't know what was running through my head to make me do that. It … it was out of line, I'm sorry." She said, looking anywhere but at Becker's face.

For the second time that day, Becker grabbed her wrist and pulled her down so that she was sitting on the bench as well.

"It's ok, really," he said in a soft voice, "I just wasn't expecting it, that's all." Jess felt her cheeks redden again and quickly looked at the floor.

"I should have asked though, I shouldn't have just done it, I really don't know what got into me …" she started before she was interrupted by Becker's rough fingers coming to rest on her lips. Jess looked up at him, surprise written all over her face.

"You were rambling again," Becker explained, letting out a small laugh. He slowly moved his fingers from her lips and before she could apologise for her excessive talking, his hand was at the back of her neck and his fingers were replaced by his lips, soft against hers for a small moment, before he pulled away. Jess looked up at him, even more surprised than she was before.

"What …what was that for?" she asked nervously.

"For helping me, you didn't have to you know," he replied, still not moving his hand from the back of Jess's neck. She blushed furiously causing Becker to chuckle slightly. "You look cute when you blush," he said before leaning down once again. Being more prepared this time, Jess took no time to respond to his kiss, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. His lips moving against hers, Jess felt like she had died and gone to heaven. They broke apart once again and Becker gently rested his forehead against Jess's before whispering to her.

"Thank you."

The romantic mood in the room was killed however by the loud noise of someone clearing their throat. Instinctively, Jess and Becker sprung apart from each other and quickly turned around to see who was in the room with them.

"Were we um, interrupting anything?" Connor asked the two of them, whilst grinning like an idiot. Jess and Becker both looked at each other, neither of them knowing what to say. Jess was strangely grateful when Abby came to their rescue.

"Connor, leave them alone," she said, "Jess, we're going now, so unless you want to walk home, I suggest you come with us." Jess nodded her head and quickly grabbed her bags from her locker before walking back over to where Becker was sat on the bench.

"Make sure you keep that leg rested," she told him before leaning down and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. She then walked over to where Abby and Connor were stood before walking out of the locker room, feeling a lot happier than she did when she walked in.

**So, what did you guys think? I wasn't planning on it being this long but ideas just kept coming into my head and I just had to write them down. I actually love this pairing. **

**Please leave a review and let me know what you thought. If I get enough positive feedback on this story, then I may continue it and make it a longer chaptered story. It's always nice to know what other writer's think of your work, and constructive criticism is always very useful.**

**CrazyLilRedheadGirl**


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